He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
