But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He? As in you personified your dick?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
