We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
