I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
