i permit you to call me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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