How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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