I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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