I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
