i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
