I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
