im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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