the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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