Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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