Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
love makes seman taste better
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Can I color on your dick again?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
