I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
