I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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