I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
