who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
