You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
