we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
