i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
