Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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