Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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