I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
