your thong is hanging out like whoa
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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