so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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