He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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