I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Your cock deserves a montage
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
