What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
