haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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