Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
