grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
