her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
