It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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