if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize