this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
