there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
