found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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