I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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