I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
