Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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