i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
