There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
