i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
