Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
