I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I need a burrito and a hug.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
