I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I don't think brook has ever known best
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
