Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
