I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
