just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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