Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
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