Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
