Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
