Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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