Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
True strength comes from lack of pants
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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