Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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