belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize