He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
