just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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