I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
