They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize