Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize