I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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